Bestiary Series: The Hydrosnail

A word of warning, dear reader

Before we begin this lore installment, we feel you deserve to know… The Hydrosnail is EMBERWIND’s most powerful and terrifying Foe Card DLC released to date.

The legend of the Hydrosnail has spread far and wide. Inspired by Ryan Green (@HydroSnail), co-host of Geek and Sundry’s Loremasters show and one of the earliest champions of the EMBERWIND RPG Kickstarter, the Hydrosnail is a VERY SUPER SERIOUS Foe that we tried to craft in a manner as formidable, and cerebral as its namesake.

May the gods forgive us…

The Ballad of the Hydrosnail

Behold the mighty Hydrosnail!
(It is much smaller than a whale)
It has a large and squishy tail
And leaves a very slimy trail
It is brightly coloured, and not pale
It lives in a shell, not a scale
(It needs no clothes, nor a veil)
That tough shell is not frail
It would protect it from large hail
It enjoys good health and is quite hale
It won’t blow away in a strong gale
It glides through forest, hill, and dale
It can even cross a modest swale
If arrested, it would ooze right out of jail
(The bars would completely fail)
It loves to eat mainly kale
(A health food nut, it does not ail)
And relaxes with a strong red ale
We cannot tell if it is male
Its best friend is Hector, a quail
If placed in a boat, it cannot bail
It also cannot hoist a sail
(But it would sit nicely upon the rail)
It could live well in a small grail
(But we think it’d prefer a larger pail)
A group of them is called a bale
In combat, it will not use a flail
It cannot be sent through the mail
It might be able to read Braille
And would then tell you a crazy tale
It slides over all, including shale
(We think it can even cross a nail)
You cannot buy it, as it’s not for sale
Step on it and it lets out a loud wail
Thus goes the mighty Hydrosnail.

—The Book of Geek and Sundry

 


 

Help Nomnivore Games release more free lore stories and new DLC for the EMBERWIND role-playing game through our new Kickstarter for EMBERWIND: Core, live now!

Learn more about Ryan Green and download the Hydrosnail Foe Card DLC here.

This week’s Archive story was written by John Helfers, the lead editor of EMBERWIND: The Skies of Axia and the King of Rhymes.  John has published more than fifty original short stories in anthologies such as If I Were An Evil Overlord, Time Twisters, and Shattered Shields, and universes like Dragonlance™, Transformers™, Golem Arcana™, BattleTech™, and Shadowrun™.

Art by Toma Feizo Gasa gamer, illustrator, and daydreamer. He has contributed his skills and artwork to legendary titles like Pathfinder, Dungeons & Dragons, Magic: The Gathering and worked on a score of tabletop and video games such as Infinity, Star Trek Adventures, Mutant Chronicles, and Robert E. Howards’s Conan RPG.

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